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What if we were to live life with eyes wide open, knowing that sorrow abides in every corner, pain is rife out there and often in here, and difficulty or trouble is just the nature of everyday stuff. LIke men of old might say, it is a fallen world. And then, then look for the joy, look at, look for, the childhood that’s emerging not the exhaustion of accompanying it. Look for the grace to overlook the shortcoming, not the fact of the shortcoming being there. (Of course its there, duh!). Look for the potential in the problem. Looking for, creating, enjoying, the mastery of managing the budget – despite the pain and strain and limitation of the budget.
At Bowdoin, I’ll encounter this again. I find myself doing the very thing I was teaching: investigating the rich stories behind a place. As part of my major in Earth and Oceanographic Science, I blissfully get lost on Orr’s Island, researching everything from the historical ecology to the changing geography of the Maine coastline. And I can’t wait. That summer, through my work in environmental education, I discovered the power of place. I realized that in a changing world, places really are the best storytellers. By tracking the Passaic’s pollution levels, we toured the tales of its waters, beginning with its use by the Lenape Native Americans, to its unjust usurpation by European hegemons, to the Vietnam War, during which tons of Agent Orange were dumped recklessly. The fifth set of chimes rings out and I press my hands against the dusty doors. My nose itches, but scratching would smudge the little black whiskers painted onto my face. I peer through the tiny crack between the cupboard doors, trying to glimpse the audience. The sixth set of chimes, my cue, begins, and I pop onto stage, the brilliant lights flooding my vision. Clara and Drosselmeyer stand to my left, and in front of me lies an endless ocean of audience. I pause a moment, taking it in, then do my best mouse scurry towards the wings. I love performing and dancing to connect with an audience. I dance to inspire others, to share my joy and passion, and because I love the rush of excitement while I’m surrounded by the stage lights. For the entire day, I watched as twenty-five young minds tested the Passaic River’s water. Using the river as a natural learning laboratory, I taught them about pollution and industrialization, urban design and remediation strategies. As New Jersey’s Passaic River appeared on the horizon, I tightened the red laces on my Merrell hiking boots and checked my bag: clipboards, lesson plans, and a new water testing kit. All in all it seems to me that ………..
The obvious conclusion to be drawn is that …………………..
All things considered, ………….
On balance, I tend to believe that …………
The world would surely be a better place to live in if …………..
If people stopped ….ing, we would have/ we could look forward to a ……………
The prospects for the future will be bleak/grim unless ……………….

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As regards the most appropriate response to this situation, one suggestion would be to ………
The first step to be taken would be to ……..
To alleviate the situation people should ………..
In addition they ought to ……………
To begin to tackle this situation society/individuals/the government need/s to This can only be dealt with if …………
To overcome this problem, …………..
Were the government to ……………, the situation would doubtless improve.
Individuals can do a great deal to …………
The burden of responsiblity lies in the hands of ……..
It is vitally important that ………
Legislation should be introduced to control ……………..
It would be a grave error if we ……………..

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Again, the author shows growth. We’ve said it a couple times, but it’s nice to highlight growth when possible. Although the author’s family circumstances and meant he had to face significant hardships, he learned how to take care of themselves and use his obstacles as motivation to succeed. We see concrete signs of growth in the way he improved his grades and got more involved in school clubs like the California Scholarship Federation as well as athletic extracurriculars like swimming. Essentially, he shows how he made the best of his situation.

Use formal English. Use ‘do not know’ rather than ‘dunno’.

On the first dawn of the summer, I found myself in a familiar place: sitting awkwardly in the back of a crowded bus full of rowdy twelve year olds. But this time around, I wasn’t the shy, new kid at school, a position I knew all too well. I was the teacher, implementing a middle school aquatic ecology curriculum I’d developed the year before.

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A joy for every sorrow. Other times, it seems there is a sorrow for every joy, that every good thing is marred with a disappointment or a difficulty. What’s the difference? What my eyes see? Both are there. How come sometimes I see only one, and other times I see the other?